First Aid
by letsdosomeliving
Summary: "No offense or anything but I'm not dying."


**_A/N: Inspired by a prompt that I read wrong._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious._**

* * *

"I can't work like this!"

A barely noticeable sigh from Robbie and the incorrigible muttering from a guy called Andrew or Andreas, or _something_ like that, follows the excessive outburst and makes blue eyes snap open. Jade sits up with an eye roll, moves her head to the left and winces at the stinging pain in the right side of her neck. Moving her gaze to her ex-boyfriend, she glares. She has been lying on this dumb stage for pretty much three hours now, the fake blood on her head making her temple feel increasingly uncomfortable with the way it has dried on her skin, and now this idiot is playing the role of a tyrant? Jade has always wished for people to see that she wasn't always the bad guy, that Beck could be the biggest diva on the planet if he wanted to, but this is getting ridiculous.

"What is your problem now?" Robbie asks in an exasperated tone, shoulders slumped and eyebrows deeply furrowed.

Beck simply waves him away. "I need a minute," he says, then moves towards the exit while shouting, "15 minute break, guys!" Before anyone can argue – they've been here for far longer than they had intended to for God's sake – the door to the blackbox theater has fallen into the lock and Beck has disappeared to who knows where.

"Thank God," Andreas, no, _Andrew_ , she remembers now, says and blows out a breath, "I have to pee _so_ badly."

Jade makes a face of disgust and silently watches everyone leave the room for their much needed break. Only Robbie stays behind, stops by the door and turns around with a smile. "Do you want-"

"NO!"

He scatters out of the theater with a high-pitched squeak and Jade lets out a breath of relief. She really doesn't know why she has even agreed to be a part of his stupid short film, _once again_ , even though she should have known that after portraying a stereotypically dumb blonde in the last, she wouldn't get the chance to play a character more after her taste in this one either.

Playing the corpse of a murdered waitress really isn't that challenging at all.

To top it all off, she has quite a few things of her own to worry about. Like the play she's planning to put up – _without_ Beck anywhere in the picture, no matter how much he thinks he deserves a part – or getting her stupid science grade up or just being on a stage without this stupid, cheap fake blood smeared all over her… which is actually beginning to itch now.

The sigh she lets out transforms into a groan when she realizes she's not allowed to touch the icky brownish red substance and all she can hope for is that the chemicals won't start to eat through her skin and into her brain. She really doesn't feel like being Cat 2.0.

With the silence of the still room coming as a welcomed alternative to Beck's bossy commands, Jade leans back and closes her eyes, blocking out the harsh light of the light above. Just for a second, she tells herself. Just for one second, maybe two or three, she wants to relax. Shut her eyes and-

"Oh my God!"

Vega. Of course.

"Jade?"

Jade takes a deep breath, listens to the squeaking sound of Tori's sneakers against the floor with clenched teeth, and keeps her eyes closed to count to ten in her head. _Don't. Blow. Up._

"Jade!"

The urge to yell back at her suddenly gets quenched, as she realizes that Tori's voice sounds… actually quite alarmed. "Oh my God," she breathes and Jade has to fight with the smile that wants to take over when she realizes why Tori is acting the way she is.

That dumb idiot.

The squeaking of those annoying shoes finally stops and the light from above gets hidden behind what Jade can only assume is Tori's head leaning over her own. "Jade, can you hear me? What happened, oh my God!"

Jade needs to stop herself from rolling her eyes. _She thinks I'm unconscious and still asks questions? Does she actually expect an answer? Tori Vega, ladies and gentlemen._

Tori suddenly starts patting her arm, her stomach – _my_ head _is supposedly bleeding, Jesus Christ_ – and then gently shakes her shoulder. "What do I do," she almost squeaks, her voice breathier than usual, "What do I do, what do I do… Pulse!"

 _Duh_.

The hand that shook Jade's shoulder a few seconds ago slides down the length of her arm until it reaches her wrist. Jade's eyebrow twitches when she realizes Tori is trembling, cool, shaking fingers traveling over the inside of her wrist in hopes to find a pulse. For a second, Jade actually feels a little bad for her. In the next she hopes the camera is still rolling because this is simply too good. "I'll call an ambulance," she says next, her fingers tightening around Jade's wrist, "You'll be okay, I promise."

 _Sure I'll be._

Jade hears shifting, then a few weird-sounding beeps. "Aw, darn it!"

 _Right_. Her phone that has been dropped 97 times, 56 of those falls being into the toilet, probably won't be of much help here. _Note to self: never be in a life-threatening situation with Tori Vega because her phone won't work anyway. You'll be doomed and die with a clumsy moron by your side._

"I'll get help," Tori says, shaking voice and all, "I won't be long."

But she doesn't go. Instead, Jade feels Tori's hands gently cupping her face and suddenly she can smell her perfume so much better and her breath is- _what?_

Jade opens her eyes and sees Tori's face just inches from hers. "No offense or anything," she starts and calmly watches Tori's eyes snap open, "But I'm not dying."

They stare at each other, Tori in complete shock while Jade just doesn't really know what else to do. When Tori does decide to speak, hands still glued to Jade's cheeks, her voice comes out thinner than ever. "You… I'm- You're hurt."

"No, I'm not," Jade explains as calmly as she can with Tori's face so close to hers, voice only the tiniest bit strained, "It's fake blood."

Tori's eyebrows knit, her eyes traveling back and forth between Jade's. "Fake… blood…"

"For Beck's short film…"

"Beck's…" It takes a few more seconds for her to finally understand but when she does, her eyes widen and she seems to fly away from Jade's body due to some unknown force pulling her body back. Jade sits up and watches a distraught Tori come to terms with the fact that Jade has never been in actual danger this whole time. "Why would you even- What is wrong with you!"

"Nothing. I told you, it's a _fake_ wound."

"Jade! Ugh, I can't believe you did this!"

"You can't?" Jade smirks at the eye roll she receives, then curiously tilts her head and narrows her eyes at the brunette. "What were you doing so close to my face? Were you going to kiss-"

"I was going to give you mouth to mouth," Tori yells in a high tone, seeming scandalized at Jade insinuating such a thing.

"Why?"

"Because I thought you were dying!"

"There's no need to give someone mouth to mouth if they're breathing…"

Tori blinks, mouth opening and closing. "Well, I- How am I supposed to know that?"

"Because, as stupid as you may be, you do have a brain sloshing around up there."

"This isn't funny, Jade!"

"Lying isn't funny either, Tori."

"I'm not lying!"

"Sure you are."

Tori quickly gets to her feet, an indignant pout on her face as she stomps over to retrieve her phone she left on the floor by Jade's side. "I think you really did hit your head because you're being ridiculous and… and weird!"

Before Tori can stand up again, Jade snatches up her wrist and holds her in place. Jade's voice is quiet when she speaks. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"

Brown eyes stare once again, the pout never leaving her face. She seems to consider her answer, before choosing the easiest way and tell the truth. "Yes."

"For what exactly?" Jade murmurs, slightly pulls at Tori's wrist to make her stumble a little because apparently, if the blush on her cheeks is any indication, Jade's closeness gets her just a little bit flustered. And Jade kinda likes that sight. "For pretending I was dead or for being so incredibly attractive that you can't help but want to kiss me?"

A grin pulls at Jade's lips when Tori rips her arm out of her grasp and mutters something underneath her breath Jade is convinced must be incredibly entertaining if she'd be able to make out the words, and while she watches the brunette hurry towards the exit, she calls after her, "Just a tip. There are CPR courses you could take. I could be your practice partner."

Tori shoots her a dirty look over her shoulder. "Gank."

When she's gone, Jade shakes her head in amusement.

 _What a loser._


End file.
